Posts tagged ‘cancer’

March 17, 2017

Delivering More of My Own Bad News

If you’re a longtime reader of my blog, you know that I’ve been in an ongoing battle with cancer since 2014. If you’re a relatively new reader here, I want you to know that I have an exceedingly rare form of cancer known as Appendicial Carcinoma with Pseudomyxoma Peritonei (PMP).

So, why am I once again writing about my health?

The reason is that I’ll soon be undergoing another extensive surgery. That means that for now, and for at least the next few months, I need to focus 100 percent of my energy on preparing for surgery and focusing on my recovery. So, I’ll be taking an indefinite leave-of-absence from my blog, professional life, and most social media activity. I look forward to re-engaging as soon as I am able.

Meantime, if you want to learn more about my situation, just search “Pseudomyxoma Peritonei” on this site using the search bar at the right.

I also want to thank you for being a loyal blog reader and for being supportive of my various efforts, in various ways. I’m already looking forward to the day when we can re-engage.

Finally, I want you to know that I recognize that we all face challenges. So, I’m going to share with you just some of the quotes that have lifted my spirits during my darkest hours; I hope some of them will inspire you as well:

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July 23, 2016

10 Ways To Be Happier Right Now

Do you want to be a better fundraising professional? If so, you need to work on being a happier person.

Sadly, 48 percent of Americans are not very happy.

It doesn’t take a great leap of imagination to understand why. If you pick up a newspaper, tune into the television evening news, search the Internet for the latest current event stories, you’ll find plenty of reasons to not be very happy. You might not even need to look that far. Perhaps, you’re facing economic or health challenges at home, or an uninspiring job that doesn’t pay you what you deserve.

While many things are out of our control, there are nevertheless some steps we can take to enhance our level of happiness. By taking care of ourselves and by building our happiness, we’ll develop stronger relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and supporters of our organizations.

Your level of happiness affects all aspects of your life, personal and professional. That’s why I want to share some tips to help you be happier which will, in turn, lead you to better health and greater professional success. By being happier, you’ll be a more effective fundraising professional.

Think about it. Would you rather be around someone who is happy or unhappy? It’s not really a hard choice, is it?

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I was naturally scared and miserable. After some serious contemplation, I realized that I could be sick and miserable or I could choose to be just sick. Being sick was bad enough. Why would I also want to be miserable, too?

My choice has made it easier for people to stay close to me and to help me when I need it as my fight continues. I’m also convinced that my positive attitude has profoundly benefitted my health; the science backs me up on this. While I certainly don’t like having cancer, I am continuing to enjoy life.

How to be Happy via Life Coach SpotterRecently, Rana Tarakji, of the Life Coach Spotter, sent me a terrific infographic with 10 practical, science-backed tips for helping us to enhance our happiness and, as a result, improve our well-being, relationships, and professional success:

1. Laugh. That’s right. Laugh more. It’s good for you. Laughter reduces physical pain, reduces heart attack risk, increases blood flow, boosts immunity, and enhances energy level.

2. Thank. Feeling and expressing gratitude boosts happiness. The old adage that encourages us to count our blessings and be grateful for what we have has validity. Researchers have demonstrated that expressing gratitude to others actually increases our own happiness.

For example, Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman, the Zellerbach Family Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, asked study participants to write and deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had never been properly thanked for his or her kindness. Following the completion of the task, participants’ happiness scores increased significantly.

See. Not only is thanking a donor good for the donor and your organization, it’s good for you, too!

3. Love. When we send love out into the universe, love returns to us. Those who maintain strong, loving relationships are happier and healthier. Perhaps it’s because we all know the value of love that we often take it for granted. We need to be careful. Love takes work. We need to actively plan to spend quality time with those important to us.

4. Smile. The average person smiles only 20 times per day. By contrast, happy people smile 45 times a day. While happy people are more likely to smile, science has proven that smiling more will make you happier. Even fake smiles will release pleasure hormones that will make you happier. As the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh says:

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

5. Meditate. Meditation is not an activity reserved for New Age folks. Anyone can do it and derive benefit from it. There are large varieties of ways to mediate. Personally, I like Guided Imagery.

Meditation offers a number of proven benefits. When I was hospitalized, I found meditation calming. I also found, to my surprise, that it reduced my pain level. To be effective, meditation takes practice. However, over time, you will see the benefits for yourself. You can learn some simple meditation techniques by clicking here.

6. Relax. Years ago, I heard the great sales guru Tom Hopkins speak. He said that to be successful, we need to do the most important thing at any given moment. That does not mean turning yourself into a workaholic. Instead, it means that at times we certainly need to work hard. However, it also means that we need to recognize that, at other times, the most important thing to do is to relax and refresh ourselves. Life balance is essential for happiness.

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January 25, 2016

“It’s Like Déjà Vu All Over Again.”

Recent events in my life remind me of a famous quote from baseball Hall of Fame catcher Yogi Berra:

It’s like déjà vu all over again.”

Since 2014, I’ve kept my readers informed about my battle with a very rare form of cancer, Appendiceal Carcinoma with Pseudomyxoma Peritonei (PMP). My last post on the subject shared the great news that I was in remission despite how advanced the disease was at the time of diagnosis.

Enter Yogi Berra.Yogi Berra Baseball Collection via Flickr

Well, the cancer has returned.

At some point, I’ll require another surgery to remove as much of the disease as possible. Meantime, my medical team has recommended chemotherapy in the hope that it will beat back the cancer and delay the day when surgery will be necessary, by months or even years.

After four rounds of chemo, my two blood cancer markers are on the decline. The chemo is working! So, I will continue with chemo treatments for as long as they are effective.

I’m sharing my news with you for a number of reasons:

  1. Because I’ve been open about my health situation from the beginning, I’ve had a number of readers contact me for an update. So, I felt it appropriate to share my latest news with all of my readers.
  2. Others who also have PMP have contacted me after reading my posts, and as they begin their own fight against this rare disease. I’ve been willing to serve as a resource for these people, and I’m committed to continuing to be a resource because PMP is so rare and finding good information is challenging.
  3. Sharing my story gives me an opportunity to encourage you to be your own healthcare advocate. If you have a doctor who is only interested in treating symptoms rather than looking for and treating underlying causes, fire him or her. Work with doctors who will look for causes. It could save your life.
  4. I want to explain how my health situation affects my work life. Because I cannot predict what condition I’ll be in on a specific date months ahead, I am not accepting conference speaking invitations for 2016. While I’m disappointed to be off of the speaking circuit, the upside is that this will free me up to present more webinars, write more (including a new book), and serve more clients.

While cancer has re-entered my life, I’ve got too much to do to give in to it. So, I’m not. My journey is not an easy one. However, it is one that I am managing.

My work-life focus, throughout my ups and downs, will remain on helping charities raise more money through ethical donor-centered fundraising. I will do this through my work with clients, through teaching opportunities, through media interviews, and through my blog.

Here are some things you can consider doing for me, if the spirit moves you:

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September 30, 2015

Extra! Extra! Updates to 6 Popular Posts

Fundraising news is dynamic. It’s constantly changing. So, I thought I’d look back on some of my more popular posts of the past several months and provide you with important updates to some of those stories.

“Cheating Death”

About a year ago, I outlined my personal battle with a very rare form of cancer: Appendicial Carcinoma with Pseudomyxoma Peritonei. While my recovery following last year’s 14-hour surgery has been good, I hit a bump in the road last week when a post-surgery complication sent me to the hospital for the week. That’s why I haven’t posted and haven’t engaged much on social media.

The good news is that my problem resolved naturally. Now, I’m working on regaining strength and the more than seven pounds I lost. As I return to “normal,” I’ll resume regular blogging and engagement.

I thank you for your patience and support.

“Update: Spelman College Returns Gift from Bill Cosby”

Spelman College terminated the William and Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Endowed Professorship and returned the establishing donation to the Clara Dog Reads Newspaper by Steve Eng via FlickrElizabeth Jackson Carter Foundation, established by Camille Cosby. The move comes as the negative news surrounding Bill Cosby continues to mount.

Now, Central State University in Ohio has changed the name of the Camille O. & William H. Cosby Communications Center to the CSU Communications Center. The Cosbys had given the University a donation of $2 million to name the Center. It is unclear whether or not the University has returned the contribution. The University has failed to respond to my request for more information.

“Special Report: Hillary Clinton Wants to Limit Charitable Deduction, Could Cost Charities Billions”

As the US presidential campaign season heats up, some candidates have released their tax proposals. Hillary Clinton’s plan could cost the nonprofit sector billions of dollars in voluntary contributions each year. In an unscientific reader poll, 91.67 percent of respondents said they opposed Clinton’s proposal to reduce the charitable giving deduction.

Recently, Jeb Bush released his tax plan which preserves the deduction for charitable giving as it now stands. Donald Trump’s tax proposal also preserves the charitable giving deduction.

When attempting to evaluate which tax proposals will be best for the nonprofit sector, we need to consider a number of factors:

  • Does the proposal preserve the tax deduction for charitable giving?
  • Will the proposal increase personal income?
  • Will the proposal help grow the economy?

The calculus is certainly complex. However, we do know that charitable giving incentives work, that people give more when their personal income is greater, and that charitable giving correlates closely to the growth (or decline) of Gross Domestic Product.

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May 5, 2015

Will You Help Me Celebrate My (Re)birthday?

On May 2, I began my month-long (re)birthday celebration. One year ago, I underwent a 14-hour surgery to remove the rare cancer that had spread throughout my abdomen. The surgery was a success, and I am now in remission!

First Birthday Balloons by akadruid via FlickrPrior to surgery, I was told my life expectancy would be about two to five years. Following surgery, my doctor told me I can expect a full life. That’s why I consider May 2 my (re)birthday.

Having gone through what I have during the past year, I’m returning to professional life with a reinvigorated commitment to help the nonprofit community be more efficient and effective so we can make the world a better place.

I’m doing a number of private and public things this month to celebrate. While I normally ensure that my blog site remains largely non-commercial, I’m making an exception with this post because I want to enlist your help as I mark this important time in my life.

There are a number of ways you can join my (re)birthday celebration:

New Clients. I’m looking for at least three new clients. If you’ve found my blog posts helpful, imagine what we can achieve by working closely together, as some readers have already discovered. If you work for a nonprofit organization, I can help you with annual fund enhancements, donor retention efforts, ethics education and policy development, phone fundraising improvements, planned gift marketing, and training for staff and/or boards. If you work for a for-profit company serving the nonprofit sector, I can help you with service/product enhancements, new service/product development, and marketing.

Please contact me if you would like to discuss how I can help you achieve your goals.

Paid Speaking Engagements. As part of my return to professional life, I’m looking forward to getting back out on the speaking circuit. I’m an experienced, well-reviewed presenter and AFP Master Trainer. I’m also an adjunct faculty member at Drexel University where I teach Advanced Fund Development to graduate students. For your organization, I can facilitate a variety of training programs for your board, staff, or volunteers. For your professional associations, I can offer a variety of seminars or keynote presentations to meet the group’s needs and particular interests.

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September 5, 2014

Cheating Death

Recently, Death came knocking on my door. I did not answer; it seemed like the smart thing to do. It worked.

Now, I have completed treatment for my abdominal cancer (Pseudomyxoma Peritonei, often referred to as PMP). I’m in remission, and my oncologic surgeon expects me to live a reasonably healthy, full life.Death by thom via Flickr

Despite the miraculous treatment outcome, I’m still a long way from normal. My recovery continues as I focus on healing, regaining strength, and putting on weight. While I concentrate on a return to good health, I will gradually re-engage in professional life between now and the end of the year.

I wish my progress were much quicker. However, as I look back over my shoulder, I realize that I’ve been on an extraordinary journey over the past seven months. Here’s a brief recap of what has happened:

February 2014 — Leading up to my routine physical, I knew it would be more than routine. My abdomen had become inexplicably distended despite having shed some extra weight. In addition, I had a persistent cough for more than a month.

At my February physical, my doctor poked around and, with a concerned look on his face, told me he wanted me to have an abdominal CT Scan. While inconclusive, the CT Scan showed growths and fluid build-up. More tests and visits to specialists immediately followed as part of the diagnostic process.

March 2014 — By the end of March, my lead cancer specialist gave me my diagnosis and prognosis. He informed me that I had PMP, a rare cancer with fewer than 1,000 diagnosed cases worldwide each year. The doctor believed that I likely had the slow-growing appendiceal form of PMP, and that I probably had it for about ten years. Without treatment, my life expectancy would be about two years. Unfortunately, given the severity of my case, treatment would likely only give me a five-year life expectancy.

Treatment for my form of PMP involves surgery and HIPEC, a heated chemo infusion at the time of surgery. The Philadelphia PMP expert held out little hope that treatment would be able to remove all of the disease. However, he did recommend that we get a second opinion from Dr. David Bartlett at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Dr. Bartlett and his team are among the world’s most experienced at treating and researching PMP. So, based on our own investigation and the recommendations of multiple doctors, we made an appointment with Dr. Bartlett.

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June 10, 2014

Progress Report

“Look! It’s moving. It’s alive. It’s alive. It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!”

— Henry Frankenstein from Frankenstein (1931)

 

It’s been over two months since I first reported to you that I was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of slowly progressing abdominal cancer: Pseudomyxoma Peritonei (PMP). So, I thought it was about time I provided you with a progress report.

The bottom-line is that I’m very much alive and doing better each week.

Here’s what’s been going on:

My wife and I traveled to Pittsburgh, PA so that I could undergo surgery on May 2, 2014 with Dr. David Bartlett at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Dr. Bartlett is one of the world’s leading PMP surgeons and researchers. His surgical team and the nursing staff are experienced and fantastic.

Frankenstein (1931)

Frankenstein (1931)

My surgery was massive. I was on the table for nearly 14 hours. Approximately 30 pounds of mucin and several organs were removed. In addition, cancer growths were scraped off of other organs. Finally, I was treated with HIPEC, a heated chemo infusion. After approximately three weeks in the hospital, I was released and headed back to Philadelphia a few days later.

The fantastic news is that the expert surgical team reports they were able to extract the cancer and that they consider the surgery a “complete” success. In a few weeks, I’ll return to Pittsburgh for an anticipated follow-up surgery that will keep me in the hospital for about four days. After that, I’ll be completely done with treatment.

While my treatment will conclude shortly, I will continue to undergo frequent diagnostic testing. While successful as a treatment, the surgery is not a cure. Although I am now classified as being in “remission,” the cancer is expected to return someday. Fortunately, Dr. Bartlett believes this will not happen for many years. When it does, we’ll catch it early so that it can be beaten back with a far less aggressive treatment and, perhaps, with a breakthrough therapy.

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April 4, 2014

Delivering (My Own) Bad News

I don’t want to mislead you. So, let me be clear from the start. This post is less about how to deliver bad news and more about, well, me sharing some bad news with you. Nevertheless, in keeping with the spirit of this blog site, I will include some relevant tips at the end.

First, I want to share some terrible, personal news with you.

As you may know from some of my previous posts, the past couple of years have been a challenging time given my wife’s fight with Ovarian Cancer. Now that she continues to be in remission, we were looking forward to a happy, relatively normal 2014. Unfortunately, that’s not to be the case.

I have been diagnosed with Pseudomyxoma Peritonei (PMP), a slowly progressing abdominal cancer. PMP is rare. Medical professionals diagnose fewer than 1000 cases per year worldwide, according to some researchers.

Frowny Face by khaybe via FlickrAt this point, I have no pain and very little discomfort. My only significant symptoms are a distended abdomen, an annoying cough from the pressure on my diaphragm, and weight loss beyond what I was shooting for. However, left unchecked, my condition would soon change for the worse. Therefore, in the coming weeks, I will undergo surgical treatment. This will require a lengthy hospital stay and recovery period.

Unfortunately, there is no cure or even remission for PMP. Treatment will beat it back. Then, I have to hope it comes back very slowly.

Now, and for at least the next few months, I need to focus 100 percent of my energy on regaining as much of my health as possible. So, I’ll be taking an indefinite leave-of-absence from my blog, professional life, and most social media activity. I look forward to re-engaging as soon as I am able.

Meantime, here are some things that you might consider doing, in no particular order:

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September 20, 2012

Update: My Wife is in Remission!

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been while writing a blog post.

Today, I received the best news of my life. My wife, who has been battling Ovarian Cancer, received confirmation that she is in remission! Her recent CAT Scan is clear. Her most recent CA-125 blood test, her first without chemo, remained in the normal range.

I first began sharing news about my wife’s fight almost a year ago in my post: “Special Report — ‘It was the Best of Times; It was the Worst of Times.’ It was 2011.” Now that I can finally share some good news, I thought I would take a moment to also thank you for your warm thoughts, special prayers, and kind notes of support. Lisa and I greatly appreciate your encouragement.

Ovarian Cancer is a frightening disease. Caught very early, the chance of survival is quite great. Caught just a bit late, the chance of survival plummets. That’s why it essential that every woman knows about the symptoms.

As my wife’s story reveals, it is also important for us all, men as well as women, to take personal responsibility for our own health. The doctor’s she saw all wanted to simply treat her symptoms without identifying the underlying cause. She saw a total of five doctors before she found a sixth, the one who made the diagnosis. Her cancer was caught at Stage 1-C. If she had listened to any of the first five doctors, the cancer would likely have been caught far too late.

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December 27, 2011

Special Report: “It was the Best of Times; It was the Worst of Times.” It was 2011.

[Publisher’s Note: “Special Reports” are posted from time-to-time as a benefit for subscribers and frequent visitors to this blog. (This “Special Report” is a bit unusual because of its highly personal nature.) “Special Reports” are not widely promoted. To be notified of all new posts, including “Special Reports,” please take a moment to subscribe in the right-hand column.]

For me, 2011 started off fantastically. My book, Donor-Centered Planned Gift Marketing, which had been recently released by Wiley, saw sales doing quite well. Early in 2011, the book became the number one planned giving bestseller at Amazon. In March, the Association of Fundraising Professionals presented me with the AFP-Skystone Partners Prize for Research in Fundraising and Philanthropy for the work I did on my book. In July, CFRE International put my book on its official Resource Reading List.

Business was good. My family was good. My friends were good. I even began contemplating a new professional adventure.

Then, the second half of 2011 took a turn for the scary.

At the peak of the fright, every single muscle in my body literally ached. I was incapable of thinking about much else. I was dealing with cancer. Not mine, though. My wonderful wife of 25 years, Lisa, was diagnosed with Stage 1-C Ovarian Cancer.

For a number of years, Lisa had experienced a variety of health-related symptoms. Doctors brushed aside her concerns as “normal,” “typical,” or something that will “just go away.” As her symptoms became more severe, her quest for answers became more serious. When doctors wanted to simply address her symptoms, she insisted that they find the underlying cause. When they seemed unwilling or unable to do so, she found another doctor.

After getting less than satisfactory medical results from three gynecologists, a gastroenterologist, and an emergency room physician, she found yet another new gynecologist. The new doctor spent nearly 30 minutes with her prior to the examination. She talked with Lisa about her symptoms and concerns. She took a medical history. She listened. Following the exam that included an in-office ultrasound, the doctor ordered two tests that proved vital: an MRI and a CA-125 blood test.

The MRI results came in shortly after Thanksgiving. You didn’t need to be a radiologist to see the massive cyst. The doctor followed-up with Lisa, and met with her to discuss her options. Lisa then scheduled an appointment with one of the top gynecological oncologists in the country, based on the recommendation of her new gynecologist. While in his office, the CA-125 results came in. Things did not look good. He scheduled Lisa for surgery the following week.

The surgeon gave Lisa a 10 percent chance of the cyst being benign. Sadly, she was not that lucky. A hysterectomy was conducted.

Lisa is now recovering nicely from her surgery. Her normal toughness and good humor are serving her well. She is pretty much off of her pain killers. She’s walking a good amount and is getting out and about.

Lisa’s doctor says he was able to remove all visible signs of the cancer. But, her fight is not yet over. Shortly, Lisa will begin chemotherapy. The coming months will present a continuing challenge.

With Lisa’s permission, I’m sharing our story with you for three reasons:

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