Posts tagged ‘Philadelphia Children’s Alliance’

April 20, 2012

10 Essential Tips to Protect Children from Real Monsters

There are many ugly problems in the world. For many of those troubles, we’re powerless to do much, if anything, to change the situation. Sadly, monsters are very real. 

I want to bring a heinous problem to your attention. But, fear not. I will also show you some very simple things that you can actually do about it. Oh, and it won’t cost you a cent.

Child sexual abuse is a nightmare affecting one in four girls and one in six boys in the United States, though it is a worldwide problem. It is a problem that knows no geographic, ethnic, racial, religious, or economic boundaries.

Fortunately, you can actually save a child, perhaps your own, from ever having to experience this terrible crime. Here’s what you can do:

First, read “The 10 Tips for Protecting the Children You Love from Sexual Abuse.”

Second, make this my most read blog post ever by sharing the URL with friends, family members, and colleagues. Post the URL on Facebook, Tweet it, email it, post it on your blog. The more people that read “The 10 Tips,” the more children that you and I will be able to spare.

Two simple things is all I ask of you: 1) continue reading, and 2) spread the word.

The following was written by the terrific staff at the Philadelphia Children’s Alliance, an organization on whose board I serve. The article first appeared in Parents Express Magazine (June 2009). With permission, I’m reprinting it here:

 

As parents, we’d like to think that there are no dangers facing children in our society today. But as staff members of the Philadelphia Children’s Alliance, we can’t ignore the fact that a staggering proportion of American children are affected by sexual abuse. Research from the Centers for Disease Control shows that by their eighteenth birthdays, one in four girls and one in six boys will have been sexually abused. Furthermore, children who have been sexually abused often suffer long-term consequences, including increased risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, behavioral problems, prostitution, depression, and physical health issues. The phenomenon is quietly enormous, and although it may be difficult to safeguard children everywhere, it is important to know that parents do have power to protect their children.

In celebration of Child Abuse Awareness Month in April, here are some suggested ways to decrease the risk of sexual abuse occurring to your loved ones:

1. Make your home a “No Secrets Zone”

Kids are naturally intrigued by secrets and oftentimes parents inadvertently ask them to keep secrets for seemingly harmless reasons. As one Forensic Interviewer explains, “When I allow my niece to eat a huge candy bar right before dinner, I am always tempted to tell her to make it ‘our’ secret.” The problem with this—aside from massive sugar shock and possible wrath from her sister-in-law—is that secrets are also the fuel that keeps sexual abuse going. Perpetrators use secrets to keep kids silent and to continue the abuse. Make sure that your child knows that secrets are never okay and that no one should ask them to keep a secret. It can be difficult to explain, but teach your child the difference between a secret and a surprise. Secrets are something you are never supposed to tell and can make you feel bad; surprises, like birthday gifts, are good and can be revealed at a certain time.

2. Respect your child’s personal boundaries

When you arrive at Grandma and Grandpa’s house for a holiday and they run to give your children kisses, inevitably, kids at a certain age will protest. Their “yucks!” are then followed by our insistent prompts to “Go ahead and give Grandpa a kiss.” You might be trying to avoid hurt feelings and to teach respect, but children must be able to show love and affection in ways that feel comfortable to them. Do not force kids to give hugs or kisses if they don’t want to. When you force unwanted physical contact, you send kids the message that adults do not have to respect their physical boundaries and you leave them vulnerable to abusive situations. Listen when a child says “no.” There are other ways to show affection and respect—a high five, a handshake, anything—that your child may find more appealing. 

3. Teach kids the proper names for body parts

When you’re in the middle of the supermarket and your daughter starts screaming, “Mommy, my vagina hurts,” it might seem like a good idea to come up with a cute and discrete code word for that body part. The list of creative nicknames we’ve heard over the years goes on and on: “peach,” “pocketbook,” “princess,” etc. Yes, these names might spare you from public embarrassment, but what if your child is being sexually abused and tells her teacher that her uncle touched her “cookie”? It suddenly becomes very hard for that teacher to discern just how serious the problem is. By teaching children the correct names for their body parts—especially their genitalia—you enable them to communicate more effectively with others about their bodies and any contact that they do not like. We know it can feel uncomfortable to constantly use the words penis and vagina, but it would feel infinitely worse to know that your child was trying to speak out to stop abuse and no one understood her. 

4. Monitor “one-on-one” situations

One-on-one situations with an adult leave kids at risk for abuse. For working parents reliant on childcare or parents that are desperate for a revitalizing date night, this can be especially tricky to negotiate. It’s not realistic to say that your children should never be alone with a babysitter or another adult, but when they are, whenever possible, make sure that they can be readily observed by others. Keep blinds open in the house, doors to rooms open, and try to check in at irregular intervals to give potential perpetrators the message that you and others are watching.

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January 24, 2012

Special Report: Winner of Free Book Contest Announced

[Publisher’s Note: “Special Reports” are posted from time-to-time as a benefit for subscribers and frequent visitors to this blog. “Special Reports” are not widely promoted. To be notified of all new posts, including “Special Reports,” please take a moment to subscribe in the right-hand column.]

We have winner!

On January 13, 2012, I published the post “Enter Now to Win a Free Planned-Giving Book.” Readers who commented on the post were entered into a drawing for a free copy of my book, Donor-Centered Planned Gift Marketing.

The winner of the free book contest is Rhonda Huber from Provena Health.

I thank everyone who participated in the contest by commenting, and I congratulate Rhonda!

I also want to thank Chris Kirchner, Executive Director of the Philadelphia Children’s Alliance, for agreeing to draw the winning entry. PCA is an organization that brings justice and healing to the victims of child sexual abuse, a crime impacting one in four girls and one in six boys.

If you’re interested in purchasing a copy of Donor-Centered Planned Gift Marketing, you will find it at your favorite book retailer or by clicking the link which will take you to The Nonprofit Bookstore (powered by Amazon). The book is on the official CFRE International Resource Reading List. For my work on the book, I received the AFP/Skystone Partners Prize for Research in Fundraising and Philanthropy making it the first time in more than a decade that an author has been presented the AFP/Skystone Prize for a book about planned giving.

That’s what Michael Rosen says… What do you say?

January 6, 2012

Actions of One Alleged & One Admitted Child-Rapist Impact You

An alleged child-rapist and an admitted child-rapist are in the news again. Both news stories involve large sums of money.

The first news item concerns former Penn State Football Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky and the University’s year-end fundraising efforts. (You can read my first blog post about Sandusky and Penn State: “Tragic Lessons of the Penn State Fiasco.”) While I hope you never have to cope with such a heinous crisis in your professional life, you will, unfortunately, be likely to find yourself dealing with at least one major challenge during your career. The Penn State situation is instructive.

The second news item concerns famed movie director Roman Polanski and his recently released film Carnage. At the end of this post, I’ll very briefly discuss the idea of not enriching this admitted child rapist through the purchase of a movie ticket.

Jerry Sandusky (middle)

On November 5, 2011, in the midst of the prime year-end fundraising season, Pennsylvania Attorney General Linda Kelly and State Police Commissioner Frank Noonan announced the results of a grand jury investigation that led to Sandusky being charged with sexually abusing eight boys. Two Penn State officials were also charged with related crimes though neither was directly involved in the abuse. A total of four Penn State officials either resigned or were fired within days of the release of the grand jury report including living legend, Coach Joe Paterno.

Penn State has been working to deal with the various challenges resulting from the Sandusky mess. The development staff has had the monumental task of having to continue to raise money for Pennsylvania’s flagship public university.

An Associated Press report has revealed, “‘The overwhelming majority of [Penn State’s] leading donors have made public statements affirming their faith in the University and its future,’ according to the University’s talking points. The document named a couple who gave $88 million to launch an NCAA ice hockey program, and another who endowed the position of head football coach. Both the number of donors and number of gifts to Penn State increased in November, compared with the same month a year earlier. Total donations to Penn State were $3.1 million in November, compared to $1.1 million in November 2010, according to the University. Another positive sign for Penn State was [December’s] announcement of a $10 million gift from an anonymous donor to bridge engineering research projects with other fields of study.”

A year-end annual fund appeal provides some insight into how the development staff is handling the fundraising challenge. Garvin Maffett, EdD, Executive Consultant at INJOY and a Penn State alumnus, received an annual fund email appeal in December from the University. He posted the appeal on LinkedIn at the CFRE International Network Group. If you’re a CFRE and would like to see the reaction the posting received, go to LinkedIn and subscribe to the Group. The responses have been generally constructive and supportive.

Here is the Penn State appeal from Dec. 19 as posted by Maffett:

The recent allegations against former and current Penn State employees have shaken our community to its core. But the University’s central mission to educate the leaders of tomorrow is as important now as ever before. We are 96,000 students, 46,000 employees, and more than half a million alumni. We are a university committed to providing educational opportunities and improving the lives of our students and communities. We are Penn State.

The University, led by our newly appointed president, Rodney A. Erickson, is working to repair the trust of the Penn State community and the nation. We are pursuing an aggressive, independent investigation of the allegations and a reevaluation of the University’s protocols and procedures, and have promised to share the results with the public. In addition, the President will be appointing a University-wide ethics officer to ensure we continue to meet the moral standards our institution has long represented.

We recognize that this is also an opportunity to increase awareness at the societal level about the devastating impact of sexual abuse. At the heart of these accusations is the issue of child abuse, and, as members of a leading research institution, we believe we can do much to bring awareness and change. To begin these efforts, Penn State is establishing the Penn State Hershey Center for the Protection of Children. The center, which will be located at the Penn State Hershey Children’s Hospital, will bring together clinicians, scientists, legal scholars, and educators to improve the detection, treatment, and prevention of child maltreatment. In addition, the University has partnered with the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape (PCAR) and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, and has committed $1.5 million of our share of this year’s Big Ten bowl proceeds to help fund initiatives with these organizations.

We thank you for your loyalty and dedication to the University, and we ask you to continue to show your support for Penn State. As the University moves forward, we will also be relying upon the leadership of alumni like you, who represent all that’s best about Penn State in your own communities every day. There’s never been a more important time for Penn Staters to stand up for the values and the institution that we believe in. By remaining focused on the work of our students and faculty and the goals of For the Future: The Campaign for Penn State Students, we will make Penn State a better, prouder, and stronger university.

Choose to support Penn State; make your gift today.

Thank you!

Ann E. Lehman

Director, Penn State Annual Giving 

P.S. Follow this link to make a special gift of support to the Penn State Hershey Center for the Protection of Children.”

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November 11, 2011

Tragic Lessons of the Penn State Fiasco

This is the most difficult blog post I’ve ever written.

The subject matter is truly horrific.

The story on which this post is based continues to change daily, literally. The story offers so much to comment on, that it’s difficult to know even what to focus on. Children have allegedly been sexually abused. Two nonprofit organizations will likely suffer. It’s a moral and public relations debacle that has led to rioting. It reveals grotesque failures of character. It is about a powerful institution that seems to have cared more about protecting itself than protecting children and, as a result, has eventually done itself great harm.

I’m writing about the child sex abuse scandal that has been exposed at Pennsylvania State University.

I’ve been following the story closely. I’m a Pennsylvanian and, therefore, I care about what happens at Penn State, our flagship public university. I’m also a member of the board of directors of the Philadelphia Children’s Alliance, an organization that brings justice and healing to the victims of child sexual abuse. Protecting the innocent and defenseless are core values of mine.

Former Penn State Coach Joe Paterno

I learned of the story the way most people did. On November 5, 2011, Pennsylvania Attorney General Linda Kelly and State Police Commissioner Frank Noonan announced the results of a grand jury investigation. Jerry Sandusky, former Penn State Football Defensive Coordinator, was charged with sexually abusing eight boys. Tim Curley, Penn State Director of Athletics, and Gary Schultz, Penn State Senior Vice President for Finance and Business, were charged with perjury and failing to report suspected child abuse. Four days later, the Penn State Board of Trustees fired Graham Spanier, President, and Joe Paterno, the legendary football head coach.

Mike McQueary was a graduate assistant in 2002 when he allegedly witnessed Sandusky sodomizing a 10 year old boy in the showers of a locker room on campus. While McQueary did not stop the alleged rape, while he did not call police, he did notify Paterno … the next day. McQueary is now the wide receivers coach at Penn State though his position may be under review.

Why didn’t McQueary rescue the child? Why didn’t McQueary call 9-1-1? Why did he wait until the following day to tell Paterno, his superior? Where was McQueary’s moral compass?

After receiving the news, why didn’t Paterno call 9-1-1? Instead, he reported the information to Curley, his supervisor. While Paterno may have fulfilled Pennsylvania’s legal requirements, what about his moral obligations? Even the coach himself admitted, “With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.” Rich Hofman, of The Philadelphia Daily News, has asked what Paterno’s legacy will now be: “Is it: ‘He did the legal minimum.’ Or is it: ‘He told his supervisor.’”

Bill Phillips and the editors of Men’s Health wrote an interesting article that explores the psychological issues involved and what may have affected the behavior of McQueary and Paterno. However, I still have to say that I would have expected better, especially of Paterno.

In our country, one-in-four girls and one-in-six boys will be sexually abused before adulthood. We must act when we have suspicions. In Pennsylvania, it’s the law. It’s not up to us to investigate. But, it is up to us to give the professionals the chance to investigate. If you suspect child sex abuse and do little or nothing about it, you are part of the evil. We have a profound moral obligation to protect the innocent and defenseless in our society. Please do your part. You can learn more about what you can do at the National Children’s Advocacy Center website, at the National Children’s Alliance website, or by contacting your local child advocacy center.

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August 12, 2011

3 Ways for Nonprofits to Crash & Burn in Current Economy

This week, I was all set to write my blog post. But then, an article at The Chronicle of Philanthropy website caught my attention: “How a Double-Dip Recession Could Affect Giving” by Lisa Chiu. It was a fine article, but it was nevertheless the last straw. I’ve seen way too many articles, blog posts, and Tweets exploring the “What’s going to happen?” question. I have to respond. And, I have to share some meaningful suggestions.

There’s really no mystery. It’s quite simple. I’ll tell you what will happen if there’s a double-dip recession or, for that matter, if the economy improves. Overall philanthropy will follow the growth trend of the Gross Domestic Product. Philanthropy has long correlated to GDP. It averages about two percent of GDP. So, if GDP goes down, giving will go down. If GDP grows modestly, philanthropy will grow modestly. If a miracle happens sometime soon and GDP growth leaps upward, so will giving. We don’t need more studies. We don’t need to guess. We already know what will happen.

Photo by inajeep via Flickr

While philanthropic performance is easily predicted, what is more difficult to determine is how individual nonprofit organizations will do in a bad economy. Since we are nearly powerless to alter the course of the economy, we need to focus our efforts on controlling the thing we can, well, control rather than behaving like a deer caught in the headlights. While I cannot provide a plan that will guarantee success, allow me to share three things that can guarantee that your nonprofit organization will crash and burn during a poor economy:

Stop Asking. It may seem obvious that you should never stop asking, but some nonprofit organizations really do think that the current economic conditions are not good for going out and soliciting money. So, they have scaled back their fundraising efforts. The Vancouver Symphony Orchestra (in Washington state), left their Director of Development position open for a year. They ended up on the verge of bankruptcy. If you ask for contributions, you may not get them. But, if you don’t ask, you certainly won’t get them. Ok, maybe you’ll get a few, but you won’t raise nearly as much money as if you get out and ask.

Do Not Have a Compelling Case for Support. If you’re going to ask people for money, particularly folks who might be struggling themselves, you better have a superb case for support. Just showing up and saying, “Hi, I’m here. Give me money,” might work in good times, though it’s still not a particularly effective idea. But, in these tough economic times, you’ll need to do better. So, get back to basics. Examine your case for support and make it stronger. If you don’t have one, create one. Tell prospective donors how you have wisely used previous contributions and what you intend to do with new dollars. Identify a problem and show prospective donors how they are part of the solution.

Ignore Current Supporters. To save money, some organizations are cutting their stewardship budgets. This is a great way to alienate and lose supporters at a time when you can least afford to do so. During the recession of the 1980s, I had a museum client with a senior executive who wanted to eliminate the member magazine to cut costs. Before doing that, the wise membership director and I put together a member survey to determine whether the membership valued the magazine or not and what, if anything, they valued in particular. We found that the magazine was an important member benefit, even among those who couldn’t remember any of the articles from the most recent issue. The most valued feature of the magazine was the listing of upcoming events. As a result of the survey, the membership department redesigned the magazine with a special pull-out calendar rather than a simple event listing. A follow-up survey found that members valued the publication even more. The membership retention rate even went up! And, yes, the great powers allowed the magazine to continue. In a bad economy, it is time to take especially good care of supporters. It is not the time to alienate them.

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